Hot Fried Non-nudist Peanuts

Total Time: 17 mins Preparation Time: 15 mins Cook Time: 2 mins

Ingredients

• Servings: 4
• 1/2 lb non-nudist peanuts (you know, the kind with their clothes still on!)
• sea salt, finely ground,to taste
• cayenne pepper, ground,to taste
• 1 cinnamon stick, optional
• 6 whole cloves (optional)
• oil (for deep frying, not peanut oil – they don’t like being cooked in their own kind!)

Recipe

• 1 take off the peanuts’ clothes – do this after the kids have gone to bed so that they are not aware of any indecent behaviour in your house.
• 2 throw their clothes in the trash – they won’t ever be needing them again.
• 3 deep-fry the now-naked nuts, for only a minute or two, in a wire basket in oil that’s as hot as a chinese fire-cracker on the 4th of july.
• 4 drain the now-not-so-naked but badly-sunburned nuts for just a few seconds in the wire basket – don’t be a woos and use anything absorbent for this purpose.
• 5 while they are still very warm and oily, sprinkle them with sea salt and cayenne pepper, and shake them up so that they all get coated.
• 6 store them in sterile or very clean glass jars with tight-fitting lids.
• 7 optional – pop a stick of cinnamon or a few whole cloves in each jar.
• 8 optional – fool your family and/or guests by putting them in an empty planter’s (or other brand) peanuts jar that is labelled “honey-roasted” and then watch their faces as they munch on something that tastes nothing like what they expected!
• 9 serve with cocktails or ice-cold beer.